June 28, 2006 - How To Get What You Want

It's simple really... there are only two ways (that I know of) to get what you want:

1.  Ask for it
2. Get it yourself

Sounds very simple, doesn't it?  "Please pass the carrots..."  "May I have a can of Burnt Sienna?"  And yes, I AM tall enough to reach that book on the shelf (but it's nice when help passes by... lalo na pag guapo, he he he).

However, there are things in life that are not as easy to ask for or get: an apology if you feel wronged... the go-ahead from your folks to live on your own... your parents' blessing to marry the man/woman you love... forgiveness from your spouse/best friend/parent... a career you can be proud of... being able to do what you love for a living... an explanation for a sudden change of heart... a child (when all efforts have failed)... independence.  The last one was mine.

I'll be the first to admit, I was a sheltered young woman.  I was in my mother's care for a very long time, and I presumed that she wouldn't allow me to live on my own.  Well, to a point, I was right... but one day, I made the decision that it was now time for me to strike out and live in my New York apartment by myself.  It wasn't going to be easy... and at the end of it, the means with which I got my freedom were cruel.  We were in Singapore for a show I was doing, and it came time to book the flights with our  producer.  I booked mine for New York, I booked hers for Manila.  No permission... no discussion... I decided that I was going to live on my own, whether she wanted me to or not.  Once I got to my apartment (MY apartment) I packed up her stuff in Balikbayan boxes and shipped them home. 

The adjustment period to going from being practically served to serving myself wasn't an easy one, but one worth making.  From this point on, it was all me.  And I loved it.  Count your blessings if you're one of the lucky ones that has your independence practically handed to you on a silver platter; there are those of us that have to fight for it.

My mother would oftentimes say, "Anak, if you were normal, I'd gladly let you be on your own."  Here's a newsflash: I AM NORMAL.   I knew I wasn't going to get my independence by asking nicely, so I grabbed it by the balls and ran.  I think my mom's forgiven me by now for hurting her.

Life isn't always going to hand the things you want to you, even if you ask ever so sweetly with a cherry on top.  Sometimes, you just have to get it... grab it... and go.