Friday, February 29, 2008

Fractured memory

I have a story to share... it never ceases to make my husband laugh:

We were in our LA home when I found myself feeling cold, so I got out of bed to go downstairs to the thermostat in order to turn up the heat.  When I got to the bottom of the stairs, for the life of me I couldn't remember why I went down in the first place.  So I started fixing up the living room, neatening the space up... went to the kitchen to check on things and get a snack... the dining room to tidy up the table... then I started feeling cold, so I went to the thermostat to turn up the heat.

That's when I remembered why I went downstairs in the first place.  Picture the lightbulb suddenly appearing above my head.  Aha!


My hubby's memory isn't so great either.  Here's a recent exchange:

In the car, he asks me what the word "masalimuot" meant.  I told him that I didn't know, so he said, "it means complicated... I learned it at the office today."  I then nodded my head and said, "okay."

The next day at the dinner table, he asks me, "Hon, do you know what the word masalimuot means?"  I said, "yeah, it means complicated."  "How did you know???" he asked, looking mightily impressed with me... finally with an exasperated tone in my voice and a droll expression on my face, I replied, "you told me yesterday in the car."

He then busted up laughing, tears welling up in his eyes.


One more story that I just remembered:

I was just finished with rehearsal at my brother's studio... I always carry an orange water jug with me, dangling usually from one of my fingers.  As I headed out the door, I went frantic, looking for my jug.  I went back into the studio... not there.  I checked outside in the reception area, nothing.  So I asked around, "where my orange water jug?"  The security guy pointed to my hand, and there it was, dangling from my pinky.

Welcome to my world.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Nic Dancing

Sorry, had to redo this, the original video bore no sound.

This was taken during downtime at the BabySpa shoot. Enjoy!

An unexpected note from an old friend

Many years ago I worked with a leading man in a production sometime in the mid 1990s.  He was handsome and extremely talented.  However, we had an incredible falling out during the run of the show due to his bad behavior and a tapestry of deception and lies that hurt a lot of people, yours truly included.  There was a point when, at the height of all this, I refused to speak to him backstage; our only conversations and interactions took place on stage during the show.  By the end of the run, all truths were revealed... a lot of hurt dished out... and that was that.

Fast forward to today.  I received a note of apology from him... he's since cleaned up his act, is working in a hit show, has found a wonderful life partner and is busy doing charity work as well with underprivileged children.  He wrote of how there were no excuses for his behavior during the production, and hoped that I would forgive him. 

I conveniently forgot about him for a long time, but whenever I was reminded of those days past (thanks to many mutual friends and colleagues), a lot of those painful feelings would then rise up.  It took me a long time to finally be able to say that I forgive him (I wrote him back to tell him so), but yeah.  We'll hopefully find some time to actually catch up... I have a feeling that we'll revisit those painful times as well, but that's all right... if it happens, then it happens.  No, I don't like what he did, but there's no point in living in the past.  I won't forget what happened, but I can at least give him the benefit of the doubt and hope that he's learned from his mistakes.  I have a feeling he has, which makes me happy.

The act of forgiveness isn't in forgetting past hurts, but in overcoming them.

Pain tends to leave an indelible mark on the heart... we can learn to bypass the scar, but it'll always be around.  I know that I've meted out my share of pain to people that were at some point in my life very dear to me, and I can only hope and pray that this grace be given to me too.  I cannot expect however... I can only hope.

Forgiveness requires two things: a sincere and heartfelt recitation of contrition and apology, and time.  Especially time.  I've found that it takes me a long time in order to truly process the hurt and find myself in the right state to forgive someone.  I take it to be similar with everyone else, excepting that the time factor varies from person to person.  For some it takes an instant... for others, almost a full lifetime.

No, I can't always excuse my own examples of less than ideal behavior... there are things that I have done that are worthy of a good old-fashioned cuss out by the wronged party... there are things I regret saying... there are things I regret doing... but I'd like to think that from those past misdeeds I've grown up, learned from my own mistakes and moved onward and upward.  I can only hope that whoever I've wronged will give me the benefit of the doubt.

And if forgiveness never comes, that's fine too.


I'm thankful for...

- a little girl's smile

- a great family

- work that I love

- unexpected phone calls that make me smile

- being alive right now

- answered prayers

- healing hands

- clarity... and perspective

- closure

- technology

- relatively good health

- water

- the wonders of modern medicine

- friends

- laughter

- a kick in the rear that was overdue and necessary

- love

- opportunity

- rain

- home

Monday, February 25, 2008

What I Pray For



An explanation

An open door to give one of my own


An end to anger











An end to bullshit

Taking responsibility

Catching up


Monday, February 18, 2008

I've Learned...

I turn 37 at the end of this workweek, and found myself awake until the wee hours of the morning ruminating on whatever lessons I might have come away with in my short life... and so far, I've learned that:

- a trip to the bathroom can sometimes yield happiness for one's spouse when he sees a new toy while waiting for you to come out;

- a side trip can prove more fruitful than the initially intended journey;

- long conversations with people who "get it" make time pass so quickly that you wonder where it's gone;

- disappointment will exist, no matter how you try to avoid it;

- you can't have your cake and eat it too... something will always give... the bigger the cake, the bigger the give;

- clean and freshly painted toenails can give joy beyond compare when having a bad day;

- if you use the right stuff in the first place, replacement won't be necessary;

- acting on one's impulses can prove right some of the time;

- great heartbreak can only follow a great love... and that great hate is usually prefaced by the same;

- you don't always get what you want, but pray that you always get what you need;

- there is beauty in unexpected places;

- there is such a thing as "enough";

- eventually, we all grow up and out of whatever we needed to grow up and out of;

- no one is pure evil;

- it would have been more prudent to wait, after all;

- every day is a gift to not be wasted doing absolutely nothing;

- nothing and no one is worth the loss of one's dignity and self-respect;

- after a break-up, you can't be friends... not really... not until time has healed every open wound that you'll then be able to face the once beloved without pain;

- a sticker can give a child more happiness than can be dreamed of;

- most of the time, there's nothing on television;

- that minding someone else's business can be counterproductive... I mean, we have our own business to mind;

- one well-chosen curse word can be far more perfect than a clean paragraph;

- it's smarter to start developing the mind while young; it has a longer shelf life than the body... long after my boobs have drooped to my waist, I'll still be able to ruminate on the changeable and changing meaning of life;

- it truly is better to have loved deeply and lost than to never have loved at all;

- there is nothing more peaceful than seeing your child sleep;

- you can really only be hurt by the ones you love and hate with a passion... those you're indifferent to can cause no suffering (unless they throw a beer bottle at your head);

- we as a country can overcome whatever is ailing us... the power does not lie in the hands of those seated in the halls of government, but in the hands of the constituency... once we realize this, only then can we start to build from the ground up;

- as a nation of 7,107 islands, if we each fix our own part of the island, we can then fix the nation;

- the truth about someone always... always comes out in the end;

- once you have a child, nothing else matters.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

From Blunderbuss and Soleil's Blogs - Leave a Comment

But please... only from people I've spent time with in real life, okay?

Leave a comment and I'll reply by doing the following:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll tell you the very next person/place/event I think of when I think of you.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Hong Kong Souvenirs...

- two blisters from wearing high heels for a total of over 6 hours last weekend;

- an extra few pounds around my middle, thanks to lots of fantastic Chinese food (Pekingese, Cantonese and Shanghainese);

- hugs from friends that I haven't seen in ages;

- sore calves from the long walks to, from and through the hotel, the mall, and neighborhood restaurants;

- three coats (I'll need them for when I go on tour, and needed them in Hong Kong... it was freezing!);

- a pair of red sequined Converse All-Stars (I'll wear these onstage in concert one night, I know not when);

- two sets of Chinese silk pajamas for Nicole, gifts from friends, and other souvenirs gotten from the airport (I love that airport);

- wonderful memories that will last us a lifetime.

Monday, February 11, 2008

A gondolier, a TV star and Quasimodo

The concerts at the Hong Kong Cultural Centre with the Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra went beautifully.  I don't think I could have asked for anything more or better.  Everything went in perfect harmony, and Gerard and I were extremely pleased at the turnout, the performance and the audience reaction.  We were told that Hong Kong audiences were generally reserved; if that was reserved, then I wonder what rowdy and crazy are, because the audiences that came to see us were not at all holding back in their appreciation.  And we appreciate them for it.

I personally appreciated the three young men who volunteered to sing A Whole New World with me... on Saturday night we had a gondolier from the Venetian (Macau)... on Sunday afternoon a TV star named Wong Cho Lam ran from his balcony seat down to the stage to sing... and finally, my friend Ariel Reonal (currently playing Quasimodo in the Golden Mickeys show in Hong Kong Disneyland) came up on stage as well.  I didn't have one bad Aladdin for the three shows, and I thank them profusely for being a part of my concert.  (The girls backstage were especially thrilled at Cho Lam's participation... he's apparently a huge TV star here in Hong Kong.  I was made aware of this by another audience member who shouted "He's a star here!"  The rest of the patrons then agreed.  It was a cool deal therefore!!!  Wow!!!)

All in all, the shows went very well here, leaving Gerard and me on cloud 9 after each performance.  Hopefully we get the chance to come back here to perform with the Philharmonic once again.  We had such a fantastic time.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

New Nic Photos

Finally! All the pictures I was wanting to post are now here! Enjoy!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Kung Hei Fat Choi

I remember Tzi Ma's extra special delivery of the line "demons begone" in the LA production of Flower Drum Song.  With his lion's head and potent line reading, I'm sure he was able to chase whatever demons were possessing the theater far, far away.

Which brings me to my topic... they say that before Chinese New Year, it is a good practice to do one's "spring cleaning".  To clear away the clutter and start the year fresh and clean.  Yeah, we have a ton of junk to throw away, but before the physical messes, allow me to exorcise my mental mess first.

So... begone all demons and tormentors, unnecessary distractions, the hazy unfocused thoughts that serve no purpose.  Begone from me that I may start fresh and new, uncluttered and clean.  Begone from me that I may feel only lightness of being, nothing unneeded weighing me down.

Speaking of which I'd better have a clean head... I'm doing concerts this weekend in Hong Kong, and my brain had better be working at optimum level!

Kung Hei Fat Choi, everybody!!!