Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Lessons in Love

Wherever and whenever there is love, there is God.

I'm paraphrasing the last line of a blog entry written by a dear, dear friend in Paris. As young as this friend is, the line was something I could learn from... and have been.

Lately I've found myself tested in matters of the heart. Just what is my heart's capacity to love? Can I make the choice to, beyond the easiness and giddiness of new friendships, actually love, even after finding out just how human that person is? Or do I choose to turn away, once I discover the stink of it all, and say goodbye, so long, have a nice life, by the way don't let the door hit your ass on the way out?

I choose to love. Mine is not to judge another person; that's God's job.

I've found myself in a new friendship from time to time, and after the first few meetings am able to discern whether or not my new acquaintance is deemed worthy of making the jump to friendship. Some conversations, text messages, and coffee dates later, I am then more sure that this is a friend. This is someone I will share secrets with (and will hear them from). This is the person that will be present at the milestones of my life (and vice versa). I will share a piece of my heart and self, and this person will share the same with me. It may lead to moments of disappointment... pain... frustration... the almost homicidal tendency to take a shotgun and shoot this person in the head for driving you crazy. It happens... it's happened. And I still make the choice to love.

I often ask myself (and God) why this person was brought into my life. Was this relationship meant to last for a moment or a lifetime? Am I supposed to learn a lesson from this? Was I supposed to impart something in turn?

I've made the active decision to terminate... abort... end friendships too, when I've found the person to be... hmmm... undeserving of it. I've been on the receiving end of malicious backbiting by those that claim to be so-called friends. With people like that as friends, who needs enemies? I just keep my distance in social situations and go on with my life. Not worth my time. 'Twas fun while it lasted though.

As the years have gone on, I've found my circle of friends getting smaller and smaller, but the quality of the friendships going higher and higher. I can only thank God for the circle I'm a part of, and for the new friends that will join it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

World of Warcraft

My insomnia shall definitely return.

I just purchased for myself WORLD OF WARCRAFT, an online computer game that my husband and a few of his friends are currently obsessed with. I had to buy a copy for myself because (and this is the part I detest) my husband used the unlock code in his software box, and unfortunately, Blizzard Software does not sell standalone codes for situations like ours. Shet.

The trouble with me and a computer game is this: absolutely no one and nothing no longer exists once I start. The same applies when I start a PS2 or Xbox game, I have to devote at least 4 hours to the task of playing the game until I reach the end. Now here's where Warcraft differs from the other games I've played: there is NO real ending (according to Rob) and there are 60 levels to reach (he's been playing for months, and is only at Level 18). I know what this will mean: my social life and everyone in it will all but disappear.

I have to remind myself to schedule my playing time accordingly... must remember that I do have friends -- human, breathing friends -- who much not be neglected in the course of my gaming. If anything, Rob and I will get to quest together. He's confident that I will overtake him and become more than just proficient at playing the game.

I just want it to be fun... if millions of gamers are online playing this, then it must be. Rob likens it to Final Fantasy, but longer and better.

We'll see. In the meantime, I'll let the game sit in its warm little cardboard box until I'm ready to enlist.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Hong Kong Disneyland...

My mother and I have been here in Hong Kong since Wednesday afternoon (Rob arrived late Friday night), and we've all been having a wonderful time. The Disneyland park is wonderful (I had one rehearsal and video taping day when the park was empty of cast members and visitors, save for the cast members who were part of the Voices of Disney show, of which I am a part), not too huge just yet, so it's quite manageable to do in one day. I haven't been there during a capacity crowd day though. Quite a few things on the news on how the park hasn't been able to keep up when the park is filled to the brim. Oh, all that takes is practice, guys! Chill out, please!

Last night there was a party held at one of the beautiful Disney hotels... of course the party was great, the food even greater. The drive home though was what really impressed me more than anything that happened that evening. The roads... the tunnels... the bridges... just how impressive everything looked. Rob had to take out his digital camera and shoot video of the view in front of the car... of the drive upon a long and beautiful suspension bridge... under the tunnels... and on the smoothest freeway we've ever taken. My manager was joking, that he'd enter the road video at the Sundance Film Festival.

All kidding aside, my constant thought bubbles were appearing all over the place... some of them, thought out loud. I turned to my mother and asked, "Why can't they do this in the Philippines?" Her immediate and cutting remark: "That's because all the money that would have gone into projects like this go into the politicians' pockets until they're full." I then shot back, "I guess they keep making new pockets."

There are pillars constructed to support new roads... the funding runs out, and the pillars then turn into deteriorating eyesores. From the skyway on very rainy days (which by the way still isn't done, or probably will never get done), water pools atop these massive pillars... I wonder if modern engineering keeps the rain from damaging these things permanently.

There's also the case of the PIATCO Airport (NAIA Terminal 3). The building has been standing there for a few years, but has been standing unused. I don't know what the reasons are for its non-operation, and I won't pretend to know, but can't the powers-that-be make it so that the building gets utilized? It cost a bazillion dollars to build; let it earn some of that back by beginning operations. Rumor has it that finally it will begin operations soon. Thank goodness.

The point of all this is that as a country, the Philippines has so much potential. We are an intelligent, beautiful, resourceful people. Other countries in this same region are fast overtaking us as far as infrastructure and progress are concerned. After seeing Singapore, Malaysia and now Hong Kong, I know that it's within our abilities to create a positive change. I just don't understand why change (rather, progress) isn't taking place. Can someone please explain why that is?