This game has me staying up till the wee hours of the morning. I don't think I've ever played an RPG that has me hooked to this degree. I'm not normally one to get lost in FPS-land (first person shooter), but in the case of Bioshock, I'm lost, and happily so. The graphics are incredible, the design is so beautiful, and the gaming itself so addictive. Warning: some of the images can be scary, so I suggest that, if you're skittish, to play it in daylight and with company in the room with you.
This game is just so awesome... I don't know what else to say.
Funny, but these days have been marked by an odd kind of melancholy, a mix of confusion, anger, sadness and disappointment. There is no one cause or reason for it as there are quite a few things that have brought it on. Additionally, singing eight times a week about a great love lost and a daughter far away can take its toll.
Some days I putter about feeling as sunny as a fine spring morning, whilst on others the clouds roll in to signal the arrival of a storm. I'm usually able to blow the clouds away most of the time, but on occasion, I find myself spent and exhausted trying to keep them at bay. I don't always understand why they come at all... there's no reason to feel this way, right? Right?
Whatever. They happen... it just is. It isn't wrong, or right. It just is.
Sometimes I wish the source of all sadness and anger would just evaporate into nothingness, but the world doesn't work that way. There will always be a cloud lurking away hidden and unseen, waiting to appear just when we least want it to.
I gotta go home, Bioshock awaits. I need to shoot something... pistol, shotgun, machine gun, chemical thrower or grenade launcher? Or how about an old-fashioned monkey wrench to just beat the living shit out of whatever gets in my way?
Now I'm just numb. Not sad, not angry, just numb. Now, I just don't care.
Hmmm, I wonder which is worse... actually giving a damn or not. I can't decide, I'm way past tired to give a rat's ass.
Last night and today were spent in the company of my best friends in New York. It had been so long since we were in the same room together, and it was then that I remembered exactly why we all gravitated towards one another... we all just "clicked". It's something that I can't explain, it just is. And it's wonderful.
These are my champions... confidantes... shoulders to cry and complain on... we warn each other of danger... encourage each other when opportunities arrive... are each others' cheerleaders... sickbed visitors... road trip, food trip and whatever else trip companions... sometime bedmates... sometime sublessors... all time best friends.
Tonight, I just didn't want to be doing musical theatre.
Goings-on of late have me weary... faithless... wary... tired... doubtful... angry... confused... my usual objectivity is being tested, as I try to let reason rule over emotion and passion. As the saying goes, there are three sides to every story: side A, side B, and the truth.
I have 5 1/2 weeks left in Les Miz.... methinks they will be the longest 5 1/2 weeks of my life. Thank goodness for a nice long break from this before starting work on Cinderella, and for sure following that, I'll need another hiatus to rest and recharge.
Yes, I had to remind myself tonight that this is what I love doing most, more than anything in the world. It takes something pretty major to make me not want to do this. And... well... yeah... pretty major.
It's worthy of mourning when one finds out that a friend isn't there for the tough times... that someone you'd consider a comrade-in-arms runs out on you in your time of need... that your teammate ditches you when you need him/her the most.
I know of so-called friends like these, and I have no qualms about dropping them from my circle. I can be heartless (and have been), not ever thinking twice about the dismissal of someone I can no longer, with any sincerity, call my friend. It's not an act of cruelty, but of self-preservation. It kills me when I'm betrayed.
That's my stand. I have a feeling the next year is going to bring about a shift in who my friends really are... who to keep close and of who to let go. Fuck with me, and you're gone. As simple as dusting my hands after a fall.
Yes, after two wonderful weeks in Manila, I'm back in New York and into Les Miz. While I was home, I saw a show, a rock gig, rehearsals for a musical opening this weekend, ate some great food, got some important errands done, spent quality time with my loves, did a gig, sang on TV and got myself some much needed rest. Two weeks is never enough time... then again, two years isn't either.
On to Les Miz comings and goings:
- Nehal Joshi and Nikki Renee Daniels are leaving the show this Sunday... replacing them are Anderson Davis and Rona Figueroa
- The Valjeans on Broadway and the West End will be switching! John Owen Jones will be coming to Broadway whilst Drew Sarich will be joining the West End company in late October