Sunday, September 23, 2007

September 22, 2007 - An odd kind of melancholy

Funny, but these days have been marked by an odd kind of melancholy, a mix of confusion, anger, sadness and disappointment. There is no one cause or reason for it as there are quite a few things that have brought it on. Additionally, singing eight times a week about a great love lost and a daughter far away can take its toll.

Some days I putter about feeling as sunny as a fine spring morning, whilst on others the clouds roll in to signal the arrival of a storm. I'm usually able to blow the clouds away most of the time, but on occasion, I find myself spent and exhausted trying to keep them at bay. I don't always understand why they come at all... there's no reason to feel this way, right? Right?

Whatever. They happen... it just is. It isn't wrong, or right. It just is.

Sometimes I wish the source of all sadness and anger would just evaporate into nothingness, but the world doesn't work that way. There will always be a cloud lurking away hidden and unseen, waiting to appear just when we least want it to.

I gotta go home, Bioshock awaits. I need to shoot something... pistol, shotgun, machine gun, chemical thrower or grenade launcher? Or how about an old-fashioned monkey wrench to just beat the living shit out of whatever gets in my way?


Now I'm just numb. Not sad, not angry, just numb. Now, I just don't care.

Hmmm, I wonder which is worse... actually giving a damn or not. I can't decide, I'm way past tired to give a rat's ass.

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