Monday, June 5, 2006

June 05, 2006 - Reality

The reality has sunk in.  My life has changed.

My life as I knew it to be no longer exists.  It has taken a 180 degree turn, and today, it got me into a funk.  I've realized that I can't just leave home at a moment's notice... I can't just leave without someone to watch the baby (we've decided to be 100% hands-on with Nicole until she's around 3 months old)... the spur-of-the-moment is a luxury I can't afford.

Don't get me wrong.  I don't resent my daughter and my new life at all.  It's just that the change wasn't a gradual one.  It was swift, sudden, quick.  There was no transition period, no easing into things.  I went from mallrat to houserat in no time flat.

It's something I'll have to get used to, I guess.  As my parent friends say, it gets easier.  I will find time for myself eventually, and I'll get my life back in spurts.  I guess these first few months are overwhelming and somewhat isolated... sa mga araw na ito, madali lang siguro akong mainis.

It will all get easier... it WILL get easier.  Parenthood is a journey that never ends.  I'll just have to be ready for it all.

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