April 07, 2006 - Probation

My husband just got his probationary visa from the Bureau of Immigration and Deportation (thanks to a staff that was incredibly attentive and helpful).  In other words, he has a probationary period of 1 year, after which he has to re-apply (going through most of the same motions we just went through).  Once that's done, his status changes to Permanent Resident.  Hmmm, I wonder if many of our performers that are American Citizens had to go through this same process.

And now, my rambling begins.

Friendships are a strange thing... it's all about opening up oneself to another human being, in love and companionship.  There is a risk involved certainly, as neither person knows what the other's getting.  So, I put everyone I meet on a sort of "probationary period" where certain things are determined before I make the choice to go further: compatibility, chemistry, respect, character, trust.  And even with that primary defense, I find myself getting burned by so-called friends that, I later on discover, I shouldn't have gotten too close to in the first place.  And yeah, I have no qualms about dropping people out of my life when I lose my respect for them, and when I doubt their character or intentions.  Sure, there will be the "hi" and "hello" at a party or a gathering, but I won't go out of my way for them.  Once burned... hanggang diyan ka na lang.

I don't know that it's in my nature to be forgiving to the point of martyrdom, where I can forgive and forgive over and over again, even after having witnessed and being stung by this other person's character (or lack thereof), or seen how they treat other people.  I'm no saint myself either, but for me there can be no true love without a measure of respect for this other person, just as a person.  In my business, it's difficult enough figuring out who my friends are: who are the sycophants... who are true... who will be in my corner always... etc., etc.

One trait that I do have is that when I do give in to a friendship, it's at 100%.  Once you have me, you have me for life, and that's a commitment I keep.  You will have my loyalty, my defense, my trust.  An acquaintance will have but a part of me; a friend gets everything.  Doesn't matter if there are long periods of time where we don't see each other... the friendship remains true and strong.  I'll always be here.

My circle of friends is very small, and I like it that way... the people I'll go out of my way for to see and spend time with... be it in deep conversation over a cup of coffee or a meal... a good laugh over an item on the menu... in tears over the phone or in person... pining over lost romances and celebrating new ones... or in silence, saying absolutely nothing but speaking volumes.

To my friends... thank you for your gift of friendship to me.  It's something not ever taken for granted... it's always cared for and protected.  I love you very much, and always will.