It's past 2:30 am... I'm in Singapore after finishing my packing, after doing a corporate gig over here, my 3rd private gig since giving birth.
No, it wasn't my best performance... the first two went off without a vocal hitch, but this one was a bit more difficult. For some reason things felt tight vocally, not as loose as I'm used to. Perhaps my body is still in a sort of "adjustment period," and that I should give myself some time (and a tune up from my voice teacher) before things return to a more consistent, longer lasting normal.
I guess I just have this personal standard or benchmark that I try to hit whenever I'm doing a show... tonight's preparation wasn't any different from other nights of getting ready, so I know it wasn't anything external. It just could be internal... maybe I should have eaten my meal closer to show time... maybe I should have warmed up later... maybe I didn't hydrate enough... yadda yadda yadda...
I don't know... maybe I'm just setting my own personal expectations high.
Then again... I always should! I should always strive to be as perfect as possible... I should always try to hit my benchmark... always do the best I can on any given night. Last night, I tried the best I could. And yeah, I should be happy with that. I really should.
Oh whatever... there will be many other gigs and many other shows... every one an attempt at hitting that sweet spot. I'll have a few bad days, but most of the time, ahhhhhhhh success.