Tuesday, August 8, 2006

August 09, 2006 - Why???

Tonight at a dinner, we found out that a friend of ours, a vivacious, generous, full-of-life lady named Rosaline passed away from breast cancer.  The news knocked the wind right out of me.  I knew that she was battling the big C, but I didn't know that she lost her fight.  Her husband supposedly said, "She ran a good race."


My mind then started going at a mile a minute... fuck... it's the good ones... it's always, always the good ones...

The first time I met her was in LA, at the apartment of another friend who was also battling breast cancer.  She blew in like a ball of thunder.  Somehow, this pixie of a woman seemed to contain enough energy to power the city of Las Vegas.  She was lively, funny, and happy. 

Why?  Really, I wanna know why.

There are people in this world that deserve to die (and in some cases, die a slow and painful, excrutiating death).  Why not take them, the rapists, child molesters, the warts and pimples blemishing the complexion of this good earth?  Why take the ones who still have a whole lot of life left to live?

The Lord works in mysterious ways... and perhaps we each have a list of lessons to learn during our time here.  Maybe, once each item on our list is checked, that means time is up and it's off to the great beyond.  Perhaps there are those who live a long life, because they still have something more to learn.

I don't know... I'm babbling... it's 2:45 am, and my mind still asks the question why...

My faith holds that Rosaline is in a much, much better place... and maybe that's her reward for the good life she led.  No more pain... no more hardship... just her and her balled-up energy for the angels to enjoy.

With every day that I awaken and am alive, I'd like to think that God still has a plan for me... a lesson for me to learn or teach, something to pick up or drop off, something to give or take... an opportunity to right a wrong, find glory or fall from grace... a chance to live, love, and laugh to the fullest...

I have time... I still have time... blessed, wonderful, glorious time.  5 minutes, an hour, a day, each moment a gift that cannot be wasted or taken for granted.  I have years left (I hope)... I cannot waste them...

So... what will you do with the time you have left?

No comments: