I really couldn't think of an apt enough title for this entry, so that will have to do.
Saturday night I had dinner with a friend who just flew in from Europe, and an old friend of hers from high school with whom she was staying. The topic turned to someone we both knew in common... she asked how we were, and I told her that we were all right, but that we had had a falling out quite a few years ago. They are good friends, so she felt the need to ask.
In truth, this said person is... for lack of a better word, tolerated. Which, in and of itself, is quite sad.
We'll be pleasant enough at a party... share some shallow conversation (if we even get that far), we'll smile and be fine. But -- and I made this promise to myself -- we will never ever be friends, not to the degree that we were. It's sad, because at one time or another we were very close.
Eh, such is life.
I harbor no ill will, not anymore. However, I am unable to trust to the level that I once did. No more secrets shared... no longer one of the first to hear good (or bad) news... no more of anything that differentiates my friends from everyone else. That is life... there are people in this world that you love to death (people you would do anything and everything for)... there are those you will see only at parties and events... there are colleagues you work with and enjoy on a professional level... and there there are hands you shake whose names you'll always forget. Additionally, there are people that sharing the same planet with is just plain unacceptable, but there you go.
That's life. There's nothing right or wrong with that... it just is. You can't love everyone, and everyone can't love you. Take it, process it, accept it and move on.