July 21, 2007 - I refuse to age 10 years over...

... things I cannot control.

Right now I am typing this blog beside my daughter as she sleeps. She didn't have a great afternoon yesterday... she ate some baby food that didnt agree with her tummy, which meant she threw it all up. I was at rehearsal while it all happened. My mother called as rehearsal ended, telling me that Nic was throwing up all over the place (she wasn't exaggerating, I saw the soiled sheets, pillow case and clothes). I then ran like a bat out of hell out of the theatre to catch a cab on 8th Avenue, running on the street to the first free taxi I found. The streets were relatively clear, with green lights the whole route to my apartment building. I jumped out of the cab, bounded up the entrance steps, ran to the elevator and into the apartment. Nicole greeted me with a big smile, so I thought that maybe my mother had blown this out of proportion... and then the throwing up happened again, and with each time my little girl retched, she cried. That part broke my heart. I had to take the night off from work to take care of her. My mother also needed to rest... her nerves tend to fray when she sees any of her babies suffering. Including her 36-year-old daughter and 33-year-old 6-footer of a son.

I called her pediatrician who then advised us to give her fluids... little by little lest her tummy rejects it all. Nicole wasn't in much of a mood to eat or drink, at least not while her body continued to reject the food she ate. It all finally ended past 1 AM this morning, and she's now able to keep her Pedialyte down, even asking for more. We just kept our patience with her, taking her for little strolls in the apartment. She didn't want to be physically separate from me or my mom, so we held, carried, hugged, cuddled her. At the moment in this dimly lit room, her thumb is firmly in her mouth and she's off to dreamland. She was able to take some naps earlier as well (interrupted by a sudden heave and cry), but I want this to be a relatively longer stretch.

This is one of those things I can't control... my little girl getting sick. Right now I wanna kill the CEO of Earth's Best baby food, but this particular jar could have been a fluke (a rice husk filled fluke)... Nic had eaten that particular variety before and loved it. But alas, this is one of life's curve balls, one of those things that I can't control. If there's anything having a baby teaches you, it's learning to roll with the punches and letting certain things roll off your back. It was far more important to get her to rest and feel better than anything else.

So there... I refuse to age 10 years over things out of my control. At the end of the day, I have much to be thankful for: a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, the greatest job in the world, and a great support system of friends and family. I am very blessed, and I have to keep that at the forefront of my mind. So yeah, I have nothing to complain about.

Having said that, there are forces of evil on this earth that need to be thrust into the light... and hung by the gonads to dry.