Tonight at a dinner, we found out that a friend of ours, a vivacious, generous, full-of-life lady named Rosaline passed away from breast cancer. The news knocked the wind right out of me. I knew that she was battling the big C, but I didn't know that she lost her fight. Her husband supposedly said, "She ran a good race."
Shit.
My mind then started going at a mile a minute... fuck... it's the good ones... it's always, always the good ones...
The first time I met her was in LA, at the apartment of another friend who was also battling breast cancer. She blew in like a ball of thunder. Somehow, this pixie of a woman seemed to contain enough energy to power the city of Las Vegas. She was lively, funny, and happy.
Why? Really, I wanna know why.
There are people in this world that deserve to die (and in some cases, die a slow and painful, excrutiating death). Why not take them, the rapists, child molesters, the warts and pimples blemishing the complexion of this good earth? Why take the ones who still have a whole lot of life left to live?
The Lord works in mysterious ways... and perhaps we each have a list of lessons to learn during our time here. Maybe, once each item on our list is checked, that means time is up and it's off to the great beyond. Perhaps there are those who live a long life, because they still have something more to learn.
I don't know... I'm babbling... it's 2:45 am, and my mind still asks the question why...
My faith holds that Rosaline is in a much, much better place... and maybe that's her reward for the good life she led. No more pain... no more hardship... just her and her balled-up energy for the angels to enjoy.
With every day that I awaken and am alive, I'd like to think that God still has a plan for me... a lesson for me to learn or teach, something to pick up or drop off, something to give or take... an opportunity to right a wrong, find glory or fall from grace... a chance to live, love, and laugh to the fullest...
I have time... I still have time... blessed, wonderful, glorious time. 5 minutes, an hour, a day, each moment a gift that cannot be wasted or taken for granted. I have years left (I hope)... I cannot waste them...
So... what will you do with the time you have left?
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
More Nicole
These were taken very recently... and her looks are still changing! Hope you enjoy these... we certainly do!
Monday, August 7, 2006
August 07, 2006 - 4 Days To Go...
... to my first gig in nearly 7 months.
My last public singing engagement was last January 25... at the time I was already experiencing "technical difficulties". So this Friday I'm starting slowly, with songs that won't force my body to do what it may not yet be ready for. However at the end of the month I have an 8-song gig to prepare for, which means it's time to get into singing shape. That means singing to my stored voice lessons (thank heavens for my iPod) and getting some aerobic exercise. Yeaaaaaah.
Honestly, I'm a bit... well... scared.
I know, I know, things will go okay, and I have to trust in my abilities, yadda yadda yadda. I'm just thankful that it's not a huge gig that I'll be doing, in order to ease my way back into work mode.
In any case, wish me luck.
My last public singing engagement was last January 25... at the time I was already experiencing "technical difficulties". So this Friday I'm starting slowly, with songs that won't force my body to do what it may not yet be ready for. However at the end of the month I have an 8-song gig to prepare for, which means it's time to get into singing shape. That means singing to my stored voice lessons (thank heavens for my iPod) and getting some aerobic exercise. Yeaaaaaah.
Honestly, I'm a bit... well... scared.
I know, I know, things will go okay, and I have to trust in my abilities, yadda yadda yadda. I'm just thankful that it's not a huge gig that I'll be doing, in order to ease my way back into work mode.
In any case, wish me luck.
Friday, August 4, 2006
August 04, 2006 - Friends
Yesterday was the first time the sun came out in days, and that made me happy. That overcast sky and clouds of grey were actually getting to me, in as much as I love the rain. More than the weather was causing my spirit to lift though, as it was lunch time with Bobby, Chari, Girl Girl and Jett. Bobby's here for a little vacation from Disneyland, so he asked us to join him for a meal. There were many stories shared and plenty of laughter to spare, not to mention great food. Of course as always, the time spent together was not enough, and soon Bobby will head back to Mickey Mouse. Well, if nothing else, I look forward to the time we are able to see each other, but I do miss him when he's away.
For many years, that was kind of the life I led, long chunks of time spent in one place, which meant long chunks away from another. It was helpful that I had friends in every home base, which made me feel less homesick. What I did find wonderful was that when I did return to a place and see my friends, it was as if no time was spent apart and we were just picking up where we left off. It was incredibly comforting. Still is.
I don't know if that'll be the life I still wish to lead... now that there's a baby in the picture, structure and permanence is what's called for, not the gypsy life. On the other hand, while she's portable and not in school yet, it isn't a bad time to go from homestead to homestead, to see what the future holds for me and my little family. I know that there's a tour on the horizon, which means a really nice opportunity to travel through the Asian region, something that I've never had the chance to do before. It's exciting, to be sure!
But...
After all is said and done I'd like to make my home here. I've lived in a lot of places and have at times been determined to stay away from the Philippines (for reasons of privacy, ambition, whatever). Now, life has changed (for the better, I must add), and my heart feels that it wants to stay here. At least for right this minute, that's what it wants. My head thinks it's a pretty good idea too.
I know that I want to live here... I know that I want to die here. This is my homeland, and something in me is saying that it's time to stay.
For many years, that was kind of the life I led, long chunks of time spent in one place, which meant long chunks away from another. It was helpful that I had friends in every home base, which made me feel less homesick. What I did find wonderful was that when I did return to a place and see my friends, it was as if no time was spent apart and we were just picking up where we left off. It was incredibly comforting. Still is.
I don't know if that'll be the life I still wish to lead... now that there's a baby in the picture, structure and permanence is what's called for, not the gypsy life. On the other hand, while she's portable and not in school yet, it isn't a bad time to go from homestead to homestead, to see what the future holds for me and my little family. I know that there's a tour on the horizon, which means a really nice opportunity to travel through the Asian region, something that I've never had the chance to do before. It's exciting, to be sure!
But...
After all is said and done I'd like to make my home here. I've lived in a lot of places and have at times been determined to stay away from the Philippines (for reasons of privacy, ambition, whatever). Now, life has changed (for the better, I must add), and my heart feels that it wants to stay here. At least for right this minute, that's what it wants. My head thinks it's a pretty good idea too.
I know that I want to live here... I know that I want to die here. This is my homeland, and something in me is saying that it's time to stay.
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
August 02, 2006 - 'La lang...
It's 12:02 am, and I'm sitting here at my laptop with the hugest smile on my face. It happens from time to time, and I love it when it does.
That's all... time now for me to get some sleep.
That's all... time now for me to get some sleep.
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
What Does Love Mean?
I got this via email and thought it was so sweet I thought to post it here.
_____
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8-year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
_____
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8
_____
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
_____
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
_____
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
_____
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - age 8
_____
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
_____
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
_____
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
_____
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
_____
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 5
_____
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
Chris - age 7
_____
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
_____
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
_____
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
_____
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
_____
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
_____
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8-year-olds, "What does love mean?"
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:
_____
"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca - age 8
_____
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
_____
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
_____
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
_____
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____
"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss."
Emily - age 8
_____
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
_____
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
_____
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
_____
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
_____
"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine - age 5
_____
"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt."
Chris - age 7
_____
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4
_____
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
_____
"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image)
Karen - age 7
_____
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8
_____
And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four-year-old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
