A Peanut Update

Okay... the peanut has definitely grown! My mama's belly is now just starting to show, and when I lie down flat, I can definitely feel the globular shape beneath my abdomen, my baby's home for 5 months longer. I can't wait for him/her to come out and greet the world! I've also been trying to figure out how both Rob and I will be able to get some semblance of sleep while keeping up with the feeding and the changing and everything. At the end of the day, I'm sure we'll come to the same conclusion that every parent in the world has: SLEEP??? WAT'S DAT???

While I still can, I'm going out and seeing friends, performing and seeing shows, dining with my husband (when he can... his schedule is far more packed than mine), walking around the mall, and taking trips, both domestic and international. Once the baby arrives, you can consider me grounded for a while, not able to take trips or even leave my house! My friends will have to come and visit... play with the baby... change a diaper or two. I know what that feels like, as I've had to do this for friends in the US. It was fun though, learning to negotiate changing a baby's clothes before they have the coordination and independence to do it themselves, diapers, and just spending time. It's really an incredible experience, one that will forever change my life.

I'll try to post a peanut update more often. The next check-up is in a few days, and by then hopefully we'll have a better photo to display. The last one was unpostable. Only a head, or a spine, or a thigh. I want to see a whole body!

Ten weeks... 29 more to go...

For the first time today I shopped at a store called Mimi Maternity. I always used to pass this place whenever I went to the mall (I would usually be heading to either Ann Taylor or Victoria's Secret), but this was my devirginization day... I HAD to get myself some clothes. I found a few cute items, some that I can use even past my due date: a great denim skirt, jeans, and a few shirts. I plan to just keep them until I fit into them (except for the one pair of jeans... I need those NOW). Elastic waistbands are the key to comfort. I can't button the tops of my jeans anymore.

I'm actually looking forward to the changes in my body that are going to take place... it's almost as if I can't wait for them to happen. My breasts are officially a 36C (I'm usually a 34B, so I've jumped up a cup size, and then some) and my belly is starting to expand. I've been eating normally, if not less than normally thanks to morning sickness, so I know it's definitely not my diet. The only uncomfortable thing about my pregnancy thus far is the nausea. I hate feeling like this, but it's comforting when it does hit; it means my baby's doing fine.

I wonder what it looks like now, and how much it's grown. My next ultrasound appointment isn't until I get back to Manila in about 3-4 weeks. I can't wait to see!

All Things Just Keep Getting Better

Yes, that's the title of the first track from the Queer Eye album. I liked the song so much, I bought the CD.

It seems to be an appropriate title for this blog entry... life is just going quite well. I have nothing to complain about in this world... great marriage, great husband, a child on the way, wonderful friends and family, and a fantastic career. Right now, the only thing I'm praying for is a healthy baby. Everything else is taking second place. Nothing is as important now.

All my plans -- professional and social -- are dependent upon how I feel from day to day. If I'm nauseous one day, then everything gets cancelled. If I'm feeling good, then I'm great to go just about anywhere. The morning sickness hits at random times, which makes it difficult to keep track of. However, having said that, I'm thankful that I don't have weird cravings, excessive tiredness, or extreme mood swings, save for a moment of weepiness at a sentimental moment on TV or film. I can still fit into most of my clothes. In my Ob's words, I'm doing better than most women. Menchu can't believe that I'm actually walking about, as her pregnancy was on the more difficult side.

My little peanut... already changing my life before its arrival in May. Chances are it'll be a Gemini child. I'm surrounded by enough Geminis in my life that I think I'll manage quite well. It's just the two Geminis I dated that screw up my otherwise excellent track record with people of that zodiac sign.

Now it's all about the name game... Rob and I have yet to decide on monickers for the baby... I want a name that no one will make fun of in school or on the playground (I mean, what parent of sound mind would name their child Adolf?), a name that carries strength and character, a name that sounds good with Chien.

Introducing...

Our new baby, currently 1.44 cm. long, and 8 weeks along. He/she is due to arrive in late May. That's actually the second ultrasound image; we barely saw a dot in a sac two weeks ago (the image on the right).

At the moment I'm in New York City, preparing for my Carnegie Hall concert debut, whilst experiencing morning sickness and strange cravings (I just HAD to have cold sesame noodles from a nearby Chinese restaurant). I'm also doing a benefit this Sunday with quite a few other musical-theater greats, and I'm honored. I'm just thrilled with the fact that now it won't just be me onstage. I'll have to get used to singing with a baby in my tummy. Cool.

Lessons in Love

Wherever and whenever there is love, there is God.

I'm paraphrasing the last line of a blog entry written by a dear, dear friend in Paris. As young as this friend is, the line was something I could learn from... and have been.

Lately I've found myself tested in matters of the heart. Just what is my heart's capacity to love? Can I make the choice to, beyond the easiness and giddiness of new friendships, actually love, even after finding out just how human that person is? Or do I choose to turn away, once I discover the stink of it all, and say goodbye, so long, have a nice life, by the way don't let the door hit your ass on the way out?

I choose to love. Mine is not to judge another person; that's God's job.

I've found myself in a new friendship from time to time, and after the first few meetings am able to discern whether or not my new acquaintance is deemed worthy of making the jump to friendship. Some conversations, text messages, and coffee dates later, I am then more sure that this is a friend. This is someone I will share secrets with (and will hear them from). This is the person that will be present at the milestones of my life (and vice versa). I will share a piece of my heart and self, and this person will share the same with me. It may lead to moments of disappointment... pain... frustration... the almost homicidal tendency to take a shotgun and shoot this person in the head for driving you crazy. It happens... it's happened. And I still make the choice to love.

I often ask myself (and God) why this person was brought into my life. Was this relationship meant to last for a moment or a lifetime? Am I supposed to learn a lesson from this? Was I supposed to impart something in turn?

I've made the active decision to terminate... abort... end friendships too, when I've found the person to be... hmmm... undeserving of it. I've been on the receiving end of malicious backbiting by those that claim to be so-called friends. With people like that as friends, who needs enemies? I just keep my distance in social situations and go on with my life. Not worth my time. 'Twas fun while it lasted though.

As the years have gone on, I've found my circle of friends getting smaller and smaller, but the quality of the friendships going higher and higher. I can only thank God for the circle I'm a part of, and for the new friends that will join it.

World of Warcraft

My insomnia shall definitely return.

I just purchased for myself WORLD OF WARCRAFT, an online computer game that my husband and a few of his friends are currently obsessed with. I had to buy a copy for myself because (and this is the part I detest) my husband used the unlock code in his software box, and unfortunately, Blizzard Software does not sell standalone codes for situations like ours. Shet.

The trouble with me and a computer game is this: absolutely no one and nothing no longer exists once I start. The same applies when I start a PS2 or Xbox game, I have to devote at least 4 hours to the task of playing the game until I reach the end. Now here's where Warcraft differs from the other games I've played: there is NO real ending (according to Rob) and there are 60 levels to reach (he's been playing for months, and is only at Level 18). I know what this will mean: my social life and everyone in it will all but disappear.

I have to remind myself to schedule my playing time accordingly... must remember that I do have friends -- human, breathing friends -- who much not be neglected in the course of my gaming. If anything, Rob and I will get to quest together. He's confident that I will overtake him and become more than just proficient at playing the game.

I just want it to be fun... if millions of gamers are online playing this, then it must be. Rob likens it to Final Fantasy, but longer and better.

We'll see. In the meantime, I'll let the game sit in its warm little cardboard box until I'm ready to enlist.

Hong Kong Disneyland...

My mother and I have been here in Hong Kong since Wednesday afternoon (Rob arrived late Friday night), and we've all been having a wonderful time. The Disneyland park is wonderful (I had one rehearsal and video taping day when the park was empty of cast members and visitors, save for the cast members who were part of the Voices of Disney show, of which I am a part), not too huge just yet, so it's quite manageable to do in one day. I haven't been there during a capacity crowd day though. Quite a few things on the news on how the park hasn't been able to keep up when the park is filled to the brim. Oh, all that takes is practice, guys! Chill out, please!

Last night there was a party held at one of the beautiful Disney hotels... of course the party was great, the food even greater. The drive home though was what really impressed me more than anything that happened that evening. The roads... the tunnels... the bridges... just how impressive everything looked. Rob had to take out his digital camera and shoot video of the view in front of the car... of the drive upon a long and beautiful suspension bridge... under the tunnels... and on the smoothest freeway we've ever taken. My manager was joking, that he'd enter the road video at the Sundance Film Festival.

All kidding aside, my constant thought bubbles were appearing all over the place... some of them, thought out loud. I turned to my mother and asked, "Why can't they do this in the Philippines?" Her immediate and cutting remark: "That's because all the money that would have gone into projects like this go into the politicians' pockets until they're full." I then shot back, "I guess they keep making new pockets."

There are pillars constructed to support new roads... the funding runs out, and the pillars then turn into deteriorating eyesores. From the skyway on very rainy days (which by the way still isn't done, or probably will never get done), water pools atop these massive pillars... I wonder if modern engineering keeps the rain from damaging these things permanently.

There's also the case of the PIATCO Airport (NAIA Terminal 3). The building has been standing there for a few years, but has been standing unused. I don't know what the reasons are for its non-operation, and I won't pretend to know, but can't the powers-that-be make it so that the building gets utilized? It cost a bazillion dollars to build; let it earn some of that back by beginning operations. Rumor has it that finally it will begin operations soon. Thank goodness.

The point of all this is that as a country, the Philippines has so much potential. We are an intelligent, beautiful, resourceful people. Other countries in this same region are fast overtaking us as far as infrastructure and progress are concerned. After seeing Singapore, Malaysia and now Hong Kong, I know that it's within our abilities to create a positive change. I just don't understand why change (rather, progress) isn't taking place. Can someone please explain why that is?