April 30, 2006 - Pregnancy Blog

The stroller and car seat are finally out of their boxes, and they look beautiful!  Unfortunately the owner's manuals are in Japanese, but thankfully the manufacturer had the foresight to include plenty of detailed illustrations.  I remember assembling a model car many years ago, with only the drawings to guide my hand.  My brother seemed happy; he won a few RC car races with it.

If you wish to see the stroller and car seat, visit http://www.aprica.jp or http://www.aprica-eu.com.  I love the carseat especially, because of how many years of use Nicole will get out of it.  Thanks to our wedding godparents for gifting us with them!

April 30, 2006 - A gem from Oprah

One late night while my husband was away, I found myself watching the Oprah show.  Her guest was Uma Thurman (side note: I LOVED Kill Bill 1) who was quite open and candid about the goings-on in her personal life.  Oprah probed, but not too deeply, and Uma answered only what she felt comfortable with.  In the course of their on-the-couch conversation, as the subject turned to Uma's "coulda shoulda woulda's" regarding her marriage, Oprah uttered a true gem of a quote that she attributes to another guest from a previous episode: FORGIVENESS IS GIVING UP THE HOPE THAT THE PAST COULD'VE BEEN ANY DIFFERENT.  Her follow-up: if you knew better, you could've done better, but you didn't. 

I guess there's no point in holding on to the "coulda shoulda woulda's" in life. 

Forgiveness of others is difficult enough, but forgiving oneself can be even tougher.  In relationships (personal or professional)... in situations... heck, even driving in rush hour traffic... letting go of the past can be a trying task.  "Oh, I knew I should've taken that right turn at Albaquerque."

I don't really know what it is that makes the task so strangely tough.  Perhaps once something happens in your life that turns it upside down, the mind and the heart become riddled with those said questions, with additional "what if's".  "What if I had done something different... what if I had taken another path... what if I had waited... what if I hadn't... what if... what if... what if..."  We can't live our lives that way though; it would invalidate whatever resulted from the first decisions we made.

Everything that happens in life happens for a reason.  Sometimes the reasons are very obvious... and at other times, the reasons don't appear until much, much later.  Each road block, each clear path, each little signboard that pops up is there for us, when it's supposed to be.  We just have to figure out what to do when they appear, and pray for the best.

April 28, 2006 - Pregnancy Blog

Yes, I'm feeling much better now.

Now the nesting instinct has gotten a bit more pronounced.  I took the playpen out of the box and put it together today, after an overwhelming desire to do so.  The box was calling out to me, so I heeded the call and went for it.  Thankfully it wasn't at all difficult to set up, and the great part is, it's portable!  I can bring it to Abu's house (Abu is the Grandma namesake my mother has chosen to name herself, short for Abuelita) when we come visit and the baby needs to nap.  Ideally though, she should have one at her house.  I have a feeling she'll take care of that on her own.

Nothing much going on over here...

The baby blanket is nearly 3/4 done.  This is probably the largest knitted piece I've ever made, and one made with a lot of love for this little being.  I'm also planning to knit another for one of Rob's cousins who just found out that she's pregnant, due in September.  However, if I find that I will have no free time once this baby arrives, I might not be able to.  I'll play this one by ear.

Nearly time to settle in... I think I'll knit again, whilst listening to Paul Anka's album "Rock Swings".  Excellent, excellent!!!  He's coming to Manila in May... sadly I won't be able to see the show, lest I risk my water breaking in mid-song.

Not much longer... as in!

It's April 27. In two days, Nicole will be officially at full term. Great!

It means that there's a light at the end of this 9-month long tunnel, and an end to my discomfort. I know, it isn't going to get easier for me, but at the very least I'll get my body (hence my mobility) back. I'll be able to walk around with more ease.

However I also realize that the end to my freedom as I know it will end. But, as all my friends tell me, it'll all be worth it. I was once told that I won't know love until I first see my baby, and I have a feeling that person's right.

April 27, 2006 - Pregnancy Blog

I am not having a good night.

My day went quite well... had a nice, relatively healthy lunch with Rob and was at his office for most of the afternoon (I sang for the composer of Les Miz and Miss Saigon today, in the hope that I'll get cast in the Broadway revival of Les Miz which starts its run late this year... I'm keeping fingers and toes crossed), after which we went to dinner at the friend's home in Magallanes to celebrate his birthday.  It was a wonderful dinner where we saw old friends and played a round of Texas Hold'em.

Here's where my night went bad.  And it's going to sound monumentally silly.

I left something at his house.

Yes, it reads as trivial and insignificant, but not to me.  For my whole pregnancy I've experienced episodes of temporary stupidity... extreme absentmindedness... pregnancy-induced Alzheimer's.  For the last 8 months or so, my brain has decided to hiccup and sputter, and I hate it when that happens.  When I got home, I lay on the bed and cried.  My husband did tell me that there wasn't any use to crying and getting myself worked up over this, but HE'S NOT PREGNANT, HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND!

I can take the physical discomfort and have actually gotten used to it; I don't like it when my brain decides to go on vacation without notifying me.  I hate it when I feel like I have no control over my brain, like I'm about to lose my mind.  It's extremely frustrating, and I hate feeling stupid.  For the first time in my life, I actually feel like an complete idiot.

This baby needs to be born soon, so that I can get my brain back.

April 23, 2006 - Online Baby Pool!!!

Believe it or not, I found a baby pool site!!!

Go to http://www.expectnet.com to venture a guess on Nicole's birth weight, birth date and time.  Who knows?  Oh, the name of the game is NicoleChien, and the lucky winner will get a prize.  Enjoy!

April 23, 2006 - Can someone clue me in?

Allow me to say that I'm only too, too glad that I am able to control who gets to read my blog, and who doesn't.  I know of one person who was a victim of "blog stalking," so hopefully she's found a safer haven here.

ANYWAY... on to my occasional ranting.

As you may know I'm spending the weekend at my mother's house, sleeping in my old bedroom (on a brand new pillowtop mattress!!!  Ohhhhh yeaaaaaaah, baby!!!).  Last night after saying good night to Rob, I fell asleep and woke up to a beautiful day.  Had a great meal of deep fried red snapper with black bean sauce and hot rice, and a generous helping of canteloupe to cap things off.  I then went into the den and settled on the recliner, continued my knitting and watched a great helping of anime as well as a debunk the Da Vinci Code DVD, to test my mom's new player.  Not a bad way to spend the afternoon.

Then I thought to switch the channel to one of the Sunday celebrity gossip shows.  What a bright idea.  NOT!  I go to one program... there's a supposed fight between two female hosts... I then switch to another channel... two lovers: an undying love or an affair going bad?  I then go straight to the Crime/Suspense channel, and am instantly calmed by the sight of an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent.

The thing that incenses me is just how far these shows will go to dredge up the dirty laundry of these celebrities.  The poor celebrity, already under fire, has to then either lie about or deny the allegations posed by the hosts (if said allegations are indeed true). 

Why?  Why is there this need to dig so deep?  Is this a demand from the television audiences at home?  Is this a ploy by the TV networks to boost ratings?  Do they really think all this drivel is interesting?

Perhaps to some other TV viewer, but not to me.  Playing dirty isn't my idea of good TV.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy celebrity television... seeing a red carpet parade and who's wearing whom... a glamorous premiere or another illustrious function... celebrity sports shows and other fun stuff.  However, I don't really care to know who's sleeping with whom, who's in rehab (again), which best friends are fighting and who's made up, the contents of divorce papers or emancipation transcripts.

Maybe because I get a great view from both sides is why my opinion is such.  I know what it's like to watch and be watched... to observe and be observed.  Perhaps I don't like watching someone else's dirty laundry aired out for the sake of ratings is because I wouldn't want that happening to me.  I married a very private man and we live a relatively private life, and we'd like to keep it that way. 

*Sigh*

Perhaps there will be that one day when a celebrity show over here won't have to resort to the tactics of the cheap and low.  Then again, would that be asking for the moon?