Friday, March 7, 2008

The Difference Between Men's and Women's Brains

I spotted this on a friend's blog and immediately found it interesting...

For spouses and couples, what you'll read may help to foster a fundamental and basic understanding between the sexes, and enable us to communicate more effectively.  Additionally, knowing how men and women differ in their thinking and feeling, perceptions and expectations is great for even friendships and business dealings.  Women cannot ever expect men to think the way they do, and vice versa.  Once we get past that, I think we can then have more harmony at home, at work and in social situations.

One part below that stood out for me: While men’s conversations tend to focus on facts, women’s conversations tend to emphasize the feelings behind the facts.  I have to remember this whenever I have an argument with a member of the opposite sex... hopefully he won't be too stubborn a jackass and understand that though the facts are relevant, the feelings behind the facts are just as, if not more, important.

Another book to consider: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

Have fun!

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His Brain, Her Brain: How Divinely Designed Differences Can Strengthen Your Marriage

Whenever you spouse says or does something that baffles you, you experience one of the many differences between men and women. But once you understand how differently God has designed male and female brains, you can learn how to use those differences well in your marriage.

Then the gender differences won’t alienate you and your spouse; they’ll complement you both to strengthen your marriage. Here’s how:

Realize just how profoundly men and women differ from each other. Male and female brains are dramatically different anatomically, chemically, hormonally, and physiologically. Those differences cause fundamentally different ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Appreciate and honor those differences. Recognize that it was God who designed men and women to be different – and to accomplish good purposes. Instead of being frustrated by the gender differences, decide to respect them and learn how to work with them instead of against them.

Understand the differences in how men and women process information. The male brain is highly systemized, with a high ability to compartmentalize, a low ability to multitask, a high ability to control emotions, a low relational orientation, a high project orientation, a high ability to “zone out,” a tendency to act first and think later when faced with stress, an aggressive response to risk, and a tendency to compete with other males. The female brain is highly empathetic, with a low ability to compartmentalize, a high ability to multitask, a low ability to control emotions, a relational orientation, a low project orientation, a low ability to “zone out,” a tendency to think and feel before acting in response to stress, a cautious response to risk, and a tendency to cooperate with other females.  

Understand the differences in how men and women communicate. While men’s conversations tend to focus on facts, women’s conversations tend to emphasize the feelings behind the facts. Men solve problems best by thinking about one issue at a time, usually on their own. But women generally need to talk through problems with someone else to process their thoughts. Men approach situations with a strong desire to make decisions and take action, whereas women sometimes just want to talk about how they feel about those same situations. Men tend to speak directly and use words literally, while women tend to speak indirectly. So, wives, give your husbands the time and space he needs to think through issues on his own, be willing to work with him to find solutions you can both act on, and speak to him in direct ways he can clearly understand. Husbands, listen to your wives when they’re sharing their thoughts and feelings about the issues you face, and ask questions to clarify the meaning of what they’re saying.

Understand the differences in how men and women approach sex. Men tend to be physically oriented, whereas women tend to be relationally oriented. Men are usually stimulated by images and sight, while women are stimulated by feelings, smell, touch, and words. Men can often initiate sex at any time and in any place, whereas women usually initiate sex less frequently. Men are quick to respond sexually and difficult to distract during sex, while women are slower to respond and easier to distract. Husbands, keep in mind that women respond to what they feel, so make frequent deposits into her emotional bank account to maintain a close relationship that will encourage her to connect with you sexually. Wives, keep in mind that men respond to what they see, so pay attention to your appearance to maintain an attraction that will encourage him to connect with you sexually. Recognize the sex is critical to a happy marriage relationship, because sex causes reactions in both the male and female brains that strengthen the couple’s bond.

Understand conquest versus nurture. Men are motivated by conquest. They tend to define themselves by their work and accomplishments. Women are motivated by nurture. They tend to define themselves by the people for whom they care. So husbands, realize that your wives have a strong desire to nurture you. Wives, realize that your husbands have a strong desire to succeed in their pursuits, and to know that you admire their efforts.

Understand provision versus security. Men are wired to provide financially for their families, while women are wired to provide the emotional security of a peaceful home. Husbands need to know that their wives are doing their best to provide an orderly and inviting home even when they’re also contributing to the family financially, and wives need to know that their husbands are doing their best to provide financially for the family even when they’re also helping with household duties. Both husbands and wives need the emotional security of knowing that their spouses truly love them and their children.

Understand respect versus love. Men need their wives to respect and admire them and their efforts and accomplishments, and to take a genuine interest in their work and hobbies. Women need their husbands to express love for them frequently through words and actions. Husbands want their wives to respect their judgment and abilities, and to express that respect in both public and private. Wives want their husbands to love them by paying attention to them, pursuing them, holding and hugging them, helping them with the children and household chores, and telling them they’re beautiful.

Serve instead of seeking to be served. Decide to meet your spouse’s needs without demanding that your own needs be met, and be willing to make the necessary sacrifices. By keeping your focus on serving rather than being served, you’ll improve the dynamic of your marriage relationship, and inspire your spouse to freely serve you. In the process, you’ll both discover that you’re stronger and more effective together than separately.

22 comments:

marisse abrilla said...

there you go! that quick! :) no need to email it pala! hahahaha :)

Jamie Wilson said...

the main difference between men and women is that women HAVE brains.

jhunnelle sebastian said...

LOL! agree.

JANE AREJOLA said...

thanks for sharing! Have a nice day! :)

Chinky Fuentes said...

I attended a seminar "Strengthening the Joy of Marriage" where Pastor Roy Versoza draw two brains. He divided each brain into compartments in different sizes. He meant it to be funny but they are sometimes true

The woman's brain has these inside (in order of size, from biggest to smallest) - impulse shopping gland, speech center, gossip center, telenovela memory bank, memory bank for lapses of husband, anniversaries, recipes, sex initiator.

The man's brain includes (again, from biggest to smallest) - sex initiator, sports scores memory bank, 3 very small parts with anniversaries, wife's favorites and shopping, AND two blank compartments where when a wife talks to her husband, her words would go there and disappear, that's why sometimes our husbands would give us blank expressions when we we are yakking. :)

Skip and Loretta :-) said...

We laughed out loud when we were reading your post! As husband and wife, we spotted our brains' differences immediately! Early in marriage, they were a source of conflict. But now, we just laugh at the differences! (well, most of the time!) ;-)
Skip & Loretta

Skip and Loretta :-) said...

~Knowing the differences between the sexes can be very helpful to a marriage or a relationship in its infancy. The sooner one appreciates these differences, the less discord there will be; a couple can truly be as one! :-)

Julie Reyes said...

Like we say, "we're built differently" =) Thanks for sharing! Very enlightening =)

Chinky Fuentes said...

yup, most notable is the shopping ability of the woman and the blank expression of the man :)

According to some scientific studies there is a connector between the left side and right side of the brain. The woman's connector is much thicker than man's that's why we can easily switch from emotion to logic and sometimes we can do both.

A man's brain is bigger but a woman's brain has more brain cells. Meaning, malaki lang ang ulo nila pero walang laman. ha ha ha!

ღ Ch18e ¹⁸ said...

thanks for this Lea! :) I always ask myself why men are this and men are that! :)

Patrick Henry's said...

that's why we are called "men". if we cant handle things, we'll be called, "no balls". heheh!

Ginevra Evans said...

thanks. this is just what i needed to understand the man in my life.

claire alfonso said...

this one's helpful too. thanks for posting!

Jewel S. said...

I read the book you recommended, "MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS by John Grey", when I was still dating my husband in 2003. One time, we got into a huuuge fight and I have become more sensitive about why he always acted that way while I'm the one who's been hurt? And finally, got married happily in 2004. I finished the book in just a snap. It was very interesting to read since you can relate to it :) Women just don't realize that sometimes what we do or say to him hurts him the most. He needs to be in his cave when his hurt while she wants to be comforted when she's hurt... I've given this book to a couple of girl friends. I hope it did work out well for them too :)

elisha gay hidalgo said...

hi ms. Lea! I'm so fortunate to be able to find your page here! your thoughts are so interesting and I keep reading them. I actually added your page here on my blogroll. hope it's okey with you. you can come visit my site at http://motherthoughts.wordpress.com/ in your spare time. thanks and the best of luck to you! hope to catch your play Cinderella at CCP this August.

Nick Ritz said...

after reading your blog, it made me wonder how we get along at all. I have read Louann Brizendine, MD. book called "The Female Brain" in my attempt to understand how women think. I still don't get it. lol But I still love you.

alessandro kartha said...

try

http://www.paradisefmbali.com/

† Le0 ReY † ♦ ♂ ♦ said...

Hi! Ms/Mrs. Lea..

wardella greenwood said...

I need more information about the differences in the sexually behavior of men and women I'm a student at the university of Iowa

lucy mayhew said...

In an article focusing on the difference of serotonin levels between men and women entitled: Breakthrough Discovery of Brain Differences Between Men and Women http://tinyurl.com/yg3xp88 The article stated: "Women also express their emotions better, because their emotional thinking centers are close to the speech centers," the implication is that from a brain biology/physiology perspective, women's emotional centres are actually closER to their speech centres than they are in a man's brain - can anyone help finding scientific evidence that backs this up?

andrea jade said...

Would it be okay to copy and re-post this? It's too good to not share...

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