Monday, November 5, 2007

Biting the dust and walking away


First of all... to everyone that saw my Tarrytown concert last Friday, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!!  I had an incredible time in that beautiful theater.

Now, back to my late night ramblings...

Prior to the Tarrytown performance I received news of yet another theater couple becoming uncoupled... needless to say I was angered and incensed.  The reason for their separation is a third party with whom the husband's doing a show.  My agent had to say, "they went by the way of the showmance."

Ah, the showmance... it can be heady and intoxicating.  You don't always think straight and the temptation is so great, that you feel almost compelled to give in to your baser instincts, without any consideration for your outstanding and pre-existing commitments.  It's the theater equivalent of the office romance... when two people meet at work and get it on.  Sometimes it's magical... sometimes it's raw and animalistic... the chemistry's undeniable and the relationship so intense... the two people involved have stars in their eyes and feel like they can conquer the world together.

That is, until the show ends its run, or when someone leaves the show for another.

And where does that leave the aggrieved party?  Last I heard, she's doing just fine.  I don't know if she and her husband will eventually reconcile... I can't blame her if she decides to go the way of divorce, nor would I wonder why if she and her husband decide to put the transgressions aside and work things out.

In an ideal world, a marriage is greater than the sum of its parts.  It's never about one or the other anymore, but of the two as a unit and a team.  It's about reaching a state of grace... it's about unconditional love... it's about forgiveness and patience.  It's the recognition that this is a union that a Higher Power has forged, that no one should disprespect and try to break.

Realistically however, it's about two imperfect beings attempting to reach a state of divine perfection together.  And in this real world, not everyone is successful.  However, I believe that it's enough to try, and try very hard.

We're all human... we'll all have our failings and foibles... we'll all have that moment of "I f****d up big time".  But God in His perfect grace will always be ready to forgive us... hopefully, we and our partners will be willing to do the same.

If and when the fight is worth fighting, it's worth swinging and swinging hard, the figurative broken jaw and split lip notwithstanding.  However, sometimes, one must also know when to hang up the gloves and walk away.

I wish this couple the best of luck, whatever they decide.

42 comments:

Ayrin Greyz said...

i can identify with your sentiments here ... as a friend of this couple, you can only pray and wish them well, and support whichever decision they may take in the end.

in most relationships, it sure takes two to tango ... to the aggrieved party, it's either take the stance "to forgive and forget" - turn on a new leaf, a new beginning, or "to forgive and not forget" - have the motivation to start life anew with his/her partner and draw a lesson or two from that particular experience (work on the relationship and not let such a slip ever happen again).

but then again, to forgive AND forget are two difficult things to muster ... also, one has to weigh how much love they are willing to give when they finally decide to forgive and forget. ain't that a dilemma?

maurice gayatgay said...

well said !

XXXX YYYY said...

Hi Lea,

You don’t know me, but you met my sister Eileen on Friday night 11/2/07 at the Tarrytown Music Hall. Eileen is a beautiful 31 year old woman with chocolate brown hair and eyes (much like yours). She has a kind heart, warm smile and love of music (which is why she was at your show). Unfortunately her evening was cut short because you called her “a scary creature who did not know Halloween was over.” Eileen is not a scary creature; she is my sister and is multiply handicapped. She uses a wheelchair for mobility and is dependent in all areas of her care. Eileen communicates with sounds rather than words so that “scary noise” you heard was Eileen saying she was having fun and that you have a beautiful voice. My sister, like you, is a human being with family, friends, likes, dislikes, strength and weaknesses. Please do not think for one minute that she did not hear or understand that you called her “a scary creature” over your live microphone in front of the entire audience. Eileen is very aware of what people say and how they treat her.
Lea, your beautiful face and voice have brought you “fame and success”. You should use your gift of music to bring joy to others, not as a medium to promote cruelty. I think my sister, Eileen would best identify with your song Reflection, especially the line “when will my reflection show who I am on the inside?”. Eileen may not have been given the gift of verbal language or independent mobility, but she was given a huge loving heart. Everyone who spends time with her and sees beyond the wheelchair and scary noises sees a happy, loving, friendly girl who truly enjoys life. A perfect day for Eileen would be spending time with family/friends, swimming in her pool, playing with her dog and listening to good music. Eileen is a beautiful person inside and out. I thank God every day for giving me the gift of my sister and I am so proud to be her sister. I cannot tell you how hurt and disgusted I am by the way you treated my sister. Lea, by calling my sister “a scary creature”, to her face, in front of your entire audience, you revealed your true character. Lea, you are lucky that our reflection in the mirror does not show who you truly are on the inside.
Finally, I wanted to let you know that I plan to write an email to as many people as I know and ask them to forward it on to all the people they know telling them how you treated my sister. I am hoping that this disgusting story will be a tool for education on how to treat PEOPLE with disabilities. That’s the key Lea, they ARE people and it was MY SISTER!
Eileen’s sister,
Meghan

Val Daubert said...

I know it's not my place to butt in here but megteg when Lea asked what the noise was and if it was coming from inside the theatre you should have stood up and shown her that it was in fact your sister. I have personally met Lea a couple of times and seen her interaction with every fan of hers. Young,old and handicapped were treated all the same. As a human being. I wish you and your sister happiness in everything that you do.
That being said Ms Lea, I had a wonderful time at the concert. I have never seen you in concert before but I did get the chance to see you in Les Mis 3 times over the summer. Take care

arkitekfhc . said...

I heard you had an amazing concert...people have been raving about it. Great job! Can't wait to see this version out here.

On the other subject...I know of one couple....not married but engaged, and the lady who is currently in a big production from "MB" found out the other one had an affair. Yikes! My take on this...better it happened before marriage. If it's not meant to be then, better it happened soon. (I hope you're not refering to the same one??)

Jocelyn Drapiza said...

Hi Meghan,
I'm sure that Lea does not mean any harm when she said that scary creature when she heard that screaming.Please do not judge her with that comment for she's very kind.I understand how you felt but you should have stand up and yell back at her that it was your handicapped sister who was just overjoyed with her music.I'm pretty sure that Lea would have apologize if she made that comment.Sending email to all people you know about this situation will not do anything good to you and your sister.I myself have the same situation ( my autistic nephew) and had to explain or tell people about my nephew's situation so people is aware and won't be judgemental.

take care and God bless....

Lea Salonga said...

First, I asked if the noise was coming from inside the theater. Everyone said, "no". I wouldn't have made anything of it if I had known what was going on. To be honest, the sounds were scaring me (from where I was standing, it sounded like a banshee), since I didn't know what they were, and no one made me aware of what was going on. The audience in that side of the theater said it was coming from outside, so I made fun of it.

I apologize for inadvertently making fun of your sister... had I known it was her, I wouldn't have said anything. You should have stood up and said something in her defense to make it known what was happening, and I'm sure everyone in the theater would have been understanding as well.

Try to see it from the point of view of someone that had no idea who was in attendance. From where I standing, I couldn't see a wheelchair.

Hill Top said...

Meghan, do you honestly believe that Lea deliberately did that to your sister? I'm sure a lot would agree with me that Lea was just reacting to that noise and only that "noise" alone the way others in the audience did but it definitely wasn't a deliberate direct blow on your sister's handicap. You have reasons to take it personally but please also think that that remark should never be a measure of Lea's character. And sending I-hate-Lea emails to everyone you know won't do you and your sister any good either. I wish you and your sister well!

Jeanielyn Orcullo said...

To Meghan, please do not react this way. Lea could never be the kind of person that you want others to believe now. By reacting this way, it seems to me that you still have not accepted the condition of your sister, because if you have, you would have been more understanding to other people's reaction, especially in this case. Try to see what really happened that time. Do not let your ill feelings ruin you by hating such a beautiful person. Lasty, may your sister be always happy with other people around.

LeWy Ledesma said...

I'm making a comment about the blog... to lighten up...

Temptation is everywhere unfortunately. Easy for me to say but things wouldn't happen as it is, if we wouldn't let it. And the worse of it is we always make 'I'm a human being' as an excuse. Well, I guess I'll probably gonna stay single for the rest of my life.... haha!

LeWy Ledesma said...

Sorry! I don't wanna look unsympathetic, but I wasn't there during the concert. So I have no right to butt in... Anyway, I'm just hoping that Meghan have read and accepted Lea's apology. Have a good night everyone!

Next To Normal said...

To Meghan, sending hate mails or any form of character assassination won't solve the problem and won't heal your sister. It's childish and a premature form of defense mechanism at that. You should have immediately stood up during the show or alert the audience or Miss Lea regarding your sister's ailment. Unless you're in denial of her condition and ashamed of alerting people that she's related to you. And having a handicapped sister is not a valid excuse to see everything in your perspective, that is pathetic.

Chinky Fuentes said...

Meg, basing on your post you presented yourself as your sister's champion, her defense counsel, so to speak. But you should have done that during the concert. You can't blame Lea for asking if it was really not normal to be heard inside the theater. Who would have known it was a sound of appreciation? Only YOU do.

Sending hate emails is like cancer, it will kill you slowly. I've read somewhere that resentment is like taking poison while waiting for the other person to die.

Handicapped people like your sister are very gifted and sharp in feeling resentment from someone close to them. I hope you both happiness and maturity in dealing with your sister's special condition. God bless!

(Lea, I admire you for apologizing even if you don't have to.)

Yie Yin Foong said...

Meg, I wish you and your sister all the best. I am sure that Lea meant no harm. I have met Lea back stage at Les Miz and she was wonderful to all her fans. I understand you are upset and feel insulted but please see that Lea had no way of knowing your sister was making the noise. This was a misunderstanding. Sending hate mail will not help anyone. Lets just move on from this misunderstading.
- As for the couple I hope they find a new love for each other and create an even stronger bond. Its rare to find someone whom you can trust and share your life with. We should all hold dear our mates. Sometimes we treat strangers better then the people we love. We all need to step back and take stock of our lives and count our blessings.

Jeanne Villamil said...

Meg, i'm sorry but it was a little distracting. no one knew. how would you feel if you're having a great time listening to your favorite singer and someone made an unexpected noise? quite honestly, i was annoyed. sorry but like lea said, you should have said something so we can understand. it was big for lea to apologize for saying that, but most of all, i think you owe her and us an apology for the noise. also for those people whose cellphones rang during her performance, you owe her an apology as well.

Stephen Mosher said...

Hi. I hope this isn't a repeat posting. I tried to post it once, but I don't quite have this system figured out yet; I'm glad I copied what I wrote into another document, first. So.. Here goes again and I hope it doesn't wind up in this blog twice! Cheers. Ste

I was forwarded this blog by a friend. I did not know that Miss Salonga had a blog but I have put it in my favourites file because I am pleased to read that she is an eloquent and passionate writer, which I always enjoy.

Regarding the infidelitous couple of the Broadway stage - this is the reason I was sent this link; because my friend knew that I have a more than passing fascination with the act of being unfaithful, with the intricate relationships that modern couples must form. An artist and a gay male, I have known many couples (both gay and straight) who have dealt with relationship matters involving affairs (both sexual and of the heart). Some of them forgive and repair, others divorce and move on; still others simply don't think that it really matters, so long as the commitment to the marriage and the spouse is stronger than any sexual urges. I don't know how the people in this matter will resolve this situation, though I will say that everyone in the theater community of New York seems to be aware of who it is -- and that public vision of a couples' private affairs (absolutely no pun intended) cannot help the resolution, at all. This kind of happening CAN be overcome and, often (especially in marriages involving artistic types) survives. The best anyone can do is show love and support of the Mister and Missus and pray that (whatever the outcome) it all comes to a peaceful close, with as few people being hurt as possible.

Now. Regarding Meghan's email: I have a grown brother who has a mental reversal. He grows excited at movies, sporting events, concerts, theater - and usually talks. He talks to the people around him and the people performing for him. It is a common act among the developmentally disabled and people (almost always) respond graciously. What I think Meghan has forgotten to consider is that an actor performing in a solo show has to focus on their work, the songlist, the words of the songs, their singing technique, the lights in their eyes and being stunning for ALL the audience. It is difficult to take note of every person and unless Eileen was right there in the front row, it would be difficult for Miss Salonga to know, precisely, what was happening on the other side of the lights. Nobody bothered to stand up and say "it isn't a disturbance outside, just one of God's special children who is expressing her happiness in the way that she does!". Being left in the dark as to the situation, Miss Salonga made a quip regarding what was, clearly, a noise so unfamiliar that it was unsettling (and I have been in the audience with my brother and his friends and heard some of the noises THEY make and know whereof I speak) that it was necessary to use some spur of the moment humour to bring some levity to the evening. To use this public forum to berate her, to threaten to use an email campaign to bring down her fan base, seems mean spirited and unforgiving. If your wonderful sister is anything like my brother, I am sure that she is a forgiving person and would understand the situation (and, someplace, probably does). I urge you to continue to love and defend your sister and to to love yourself, a little more, by embracing the truth and forgiveness. It will be better for you than carrying this anger and hatred for an artist that you and Eileen, clearly, loved at one time and will, hopefully, love again.

Peace to all.
Stephen

bing ♥ said...

Meghan, I hate to be blunt but YOU EXERCISED IRRATIONAL JUDGMENT on that event. You make it appear that Lea deliberately "called her a scary creature". First of all, SHE NEVER KNEW WHERE THE NOISE WAS COMING FROM (for me it was like a distressed cat meowing) & even asked the audience what it was & where it was coming from. Nobody knew what it was, hence she joked that being a Filipino Catholic she doesn't want to be spooked.

It is highly unethical to berate & accuse Lea of "mistreating" your sister (WHICH SHE DID NOT!). YOU ARE BLOWING THINGS OUT OF PROPORTIONS WITH YOUR BIASED SUBJECTIVE PARANOID THOUGHTS ON LEA'S SPIEL WHICH WAS NEVER ADDRESSED TO A PARTICULAR INDIVIDUAL BUT to A MERE HOWLING SOUND. Lea would never mock handicapped people.

bing ♥ said...

Lea, YOU DID NOT MAKE FUN OF HER SISTER but ONLY TO THE SCARY SOUND that we perceived as spooky. I was there & witnessed this event and I'm not being biased because I'm a fan. I just need to speak up for what seemed to be an unjust & wrongful unethical accusations on your character. You don't deserved to be maligned right in your own blog.

ally mac said...

Wow! I am totally disgusted by some of the comments made on this blog! Blaming someone who was there, and saying that they should have had to stand up there, rather than taking responsibility and apologizing? I came here to say that I was looking forward to the next show and now I am horrified by Lea and the fans for blaming and making excuses. Whether or not it was a mistake, which it sounds like it could have been, does not mean that it was okay. Sounds like Lea has a lot of friends posting and reposting and defending her, but I for one could never defend that behavior. Furthermore, to everyone who is trying to turn this back around on the girl standing up for her sister...shame on you all! Meg -- I am proud of you for standing up for your sister...and good luck on spreading the word of this event!

bing ♥ said...

For everybody:

Lea and most of the audience were not aware of the presence of a "special person" inside the theater. The sound (which sounded like a cat in distress)
were repetitive and distracting. My first impression was somebody was playing a nasty prank on Lea.

After one song, Lea asked the audience what it was and where it was coming from (inside or outside the theater). Nobody knew and Lea made light of the moment by attributing it to Halloween being not over yet. She expressed "being scared". (FYI, Tarrytown Music Hall is a very old theater built in the 1800s). If you're familiar with Sleepy Hollow, Ichabod Crane, and the Headless Horseman, you'll know what I mean. :)

I never heard "scary creature" being uttered nor she said mean words to anybody in particular. All she did was tell the audience that being a Filipino Catholic, she doesn't want to be spooked.

She never asked anybody to be removed from the theater because in the first place nobody knew where the source of the distraction was coming from.

Lea Salonga or any person with a right frame of mind would not be so mean to have somebody removed from the audience or resort to name-calling especially to a handicapped/special person, if you ask me.

I was seated in the front row just few feet away from the stage. I also looked around and I wasn't able to find the source of that eerie sound.

It's lamentable how the rumor mill goes around, twists and mangles the truth. But, if you're a logical person, you would know how to discern facts from fiction.

ally mac said...

Oh, and for those of you (including Lea) who are still making comments about this "banshee" or "cat in distress" that you heard, and adding to this awful situation...again, shame on you! Turning the blame back on the person who was affected to relieve your own guilt is appaling.

Jeanne Villamil said...

to leafan...it's not about defending anybody about anything... it's about just plainly speaking your mind.. isn't it why it's called a blog? if you said that "you could never defend that behavior" i 100% respect that, but i think you should also respect what others feel or think. it's individual differences, so be it. just a piece of advice, i think it's best to change your user name to something else, coz leafan doesn't fit you at all.. it's so ironic!

augustine73 . said...

hey lea! your fans (all over the world) are 101% behind you all the time... so just keep up the good work and don't let yourself get affected by this so called "cyber bullying".

i admire your maturity as an artist and as a person in handling this kind of issue. wishing you more projects to come!

bing ♥ said...

I dare say, leafan is megteg or meghan herself. leafan aka megteg, you're putting yourself to shame by your irrational behavior. Again, to reiterate, nobody was aware of the presence of a special person except for you. May you be enlightened on your wrong perception of truth. You're guilty you did not stand up for your sister that night. You were ashamed that the noise was coming from her. Don't blame Lea or anybody for your own guilt. We heard a sound and we did not see a handicap person. Lea would have been delighted or feel honored had she seen your sister at her concert.

Yie Yin Foong said...

Please everyone calm down, this situation has become out of hand. Lets everyone give all parties RESPECT and move on.

XXXX YYYY said...

Alright everyone, I respectfully heard all your sentiments, for peace sakes, let's just put everything to bed and move on...tomorrow is another day!!!

Going back to the topic, I got this very introspective email that was circulating way back. For those of you who have not yet read it, it's a good reminder, especially for married couples, who before looking the other way, remember these lines..................(take note, it's just something to ponder upon. I'm not here to judge).

FOR ALL MY FIRST CLASS FRIENDS...
A very meaningful article indeed, to share...
Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have.
"Wow,this girl in my office is a real looker. I'm
crazy about her because she's also understanding,
intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not."
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man
who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring.
More thoughtful. Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And
you will find a woman or man who will need you and
pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse
ever did.

Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a
spouse will only have 90% of what you're looking for.
So adultery takes place when a husband or wife
looks for the missing 10%. Let's say your wife is
melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to
the pretty clerk who has a cherry laughter. Or
because your wife is a homebody in slippers and
pyjamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil,you may fall
for a fresh-smelling young sales representative
that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high
heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt. Or because your
husband is the quiet type, your heart may skip
a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the
makings of a talk show host.

But wait! That's only 10% of what you don't have.
Don't throw away the 90% that you already have! Add to
your spouse's 90% the 100% that represents all the
years that you have been with each other. The storms
you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments
of sadness and joy as a couple. The many adjustments
you have made to love the other. The wealth of
memories that you've accumulated as lovers.Adultery
happens when you start looking for what you don't
have. But faithfulness happens when you start thanking
God for what you already have.

But I'm not just talking about marriage. I'm talking
about life! About your jobs. About your friends.
About your children. About your lifestyles. Are you
like the economy airline?

Hill Top said...

"to relieve your own guilt is appaling" - and you're really convinced that Lea and the audience were guilty of something?! Now, that's APPALLING!

Judy King said...

Eileen's sister was not in the audience with her, a staff member from her residential home was. Another resident from Eileen's home was in the audience, along with her attendant. So 4 people were asked to leave and escorted out and no refund was given. ( Eileen was at the Clay Aiken concert at West Point last year and he actually came down and sang to her.) Eileen's family still feels that the situation was badly handled and definitely feels that Eileen was humiliated and ostracized in a very public manner. Eileen's sister Meghan is a physical therapist and their parents have volunteered for over 25 years in advocating for rights for all people with various disabilities at the New York state and local levels. They serve on many state committees in Albany. Several of the entries have stated that Meghan and her family have not accepted Eileen's situation. How wrong you are. Eileen comes from a wonderful and supportive family. I trust that
Lea has learned from the situation. Signed, Eileen's Aunt Judy in Virginia and family throughout the East and South.

Bill みつる said...

hummel1,

I was there at the concert and Lea did not do anything that was deliberately directed at Eileen. Ms. Salonga was reacting at the noise from out of nowhere in the middle of her performance. Frankly, I find it really irritating, too. But we are talking about the “annoying noise’ here and not Eileen per se.

Let us not lose sight of the fact that people (probably Lea, too) learned about Eileen only after the concert and let me assure you that no disrespect was intended towards her nor she was subjected to public humiliation or ridicule.

She even asked where it was coming from whether it was inside or outside the music hall but nobody could tell her nor the audience knew where the source of the “noise’ was coming from.

So, she said something like she thought, “Halloween was over” to lighten up the mood of the concertgoers who were obviously distracted too and told the audience to just ignore the noise and continued with her performance.

She did not say “scary creature” to Eileen nor directed any harsh words to anyone in particular nor asked anybody to physically removed them from the concert. How could she, when we’re all at a loss as for the source of the distracting “noise”?

I understand Eileen’s family’s sentiments and sometimes our emotions can blindside us in seeing the big picture. But we should not jump into baseless conclusions and pre- judge Lea on the basis of mere hearsay and rumor mongering. Lea did not deserved to be bashed for things that she‘s not guilty of in the first place.

Meghan’s tirade against Lea was uncalled for and doesn’t befit her and her family’s stature being a “rights advocate’ in the State of New York if your post is to be believed. There are other avenues (like email ) to voice your concerns to Ms. Salonga so that she can address them properly, hear her side of the story and not resort to public crucifixion and blackmail which was the very opposite of your family’s advocacy.

The facts are now being twisted and rumors have evolved into something different. That is, to picture Lea as a cold- hearted individual. But let us approach this matter with an open mind. If you read carefully her post where she already apologized and the posts of the other people who were there, it will give you a clearer picture and you will be more enlightened.

arlin dizon said...

I really don't think Lea could do such thing. But being a responsible person that she is, she took the responsibility and apologized. Isn't that enough?

Li'l Dove Feather said...

Hi, Meghan. I just read this.

Truthfully, I can understand your reaction and you might think I'm just saying this, but I feel so sad for what happened to Eileen. I for one hate it when people with disabilities are made fun of or humiliated especially in front of a lot of people. I wish there is something that can undo what happened but alas, it can't be undone.

The people that I blame most for this unfortunate incident (and, I assume, harrowing experience on Eileen's part) are those who made you leave (there were better ways to handle the matter without forcing the audience to leave). But I can't blame Lea. I'm saying this not because I'm a fan. In fact, there are times that I become a non-fan when artists I like prove unworthy of admiration. Having read her explanation and other people's replies in this thread (those who were there), I can understand Lea's reaction, too...Okay, let's say, in some alternate universe, Lea is exactly the kind of bad person you think she is. Do you think someone like her would risk her reputation that publicly?

Again, like I said, I understand your reaction, but I advise that you think things over thoroughly. It was an unfair thing, what happened to your sister, but what you are doing or about to do would be an unfair thing, too. No one wins in this situation. I think what your sister needs most is to understand what really happened so she won't feel bad anymore. And if you still believe that Lea deliberately humiliated her, so be it, but make Eileen feel better still by telling her that it was all a misunderstanding, even if you think it's all a lie. If this incident grows any bigger, do you think she will appreciate it if people talked about her humiliation over and over? Instead of letting her forget it, you will always be reminding her of it.

Forget about Lea. Forget about your anger. Forget about Lea's supporters. Just remember that it's the happiness and welfare of your sister that's more important here. Don't make her feel more degraded. There are more cruel people out there and chances are, there'll be crueler about it instead of sympathetic.

Li'l Dove Feather said...

Sorry but I don't agree. I don't think they really owe an apology regarding the noise. Maybe back then, during the concert, a simple sorry would've sufficed. But this statement really sounds like they did a very grave crime like all was intentional and you're demanding for the apology. Besides, we now know what it was about and I like the simple fact that the noise was made to show appreciation to an artist. If it was Meghan who made the noise, yes, demand an apology. But it was Eileen and that makes all the difference. If they were not forced to leave, they probably would've quietly enjoyed the show, too.

I'm really sorry. I just had to comment. I'm not picking a fight here.

Rico del Rosario said...

I think Eileen deserved an apology and I think Lea is right to offer hers. I do hope that Meg and Eileen heal from this inadvertent hurt.

Victor Lirio said...

I was there. Lea investigated what the sound was. She was told it was coming from the outside. From where I was sitting, which was audience right, it sounded like it was coming from the outside. That's when Lea thought people were still Halloween-ing outside ... and the comment of "scary" was actually not directed at one person. It was a comment on herself being "Filipino and Catholic ... and how she gets easily scared." Having known her for almost 15 years, had Lea known that the sound was, in fact, coming from an audience member ... they would have been sending her flowers. And she had no knowledge that Eileen was escorted out.

I, too, get very emotional and overly sensitive when those close to me and those I love get mistreated. As an adult, however, I've learned to investigate, listen to the other person's perspective first (before making judgement) and not let my emotions blur objectivity. And there are always three sides to the story ... side A, side B and then the truth.

No one was personally attacked at the concert. But Lea was simply and earnestly entertaining the audiences.

arkitekfhc . said...

Hi Megteg,
I know Lea and she would never mock individuals with disabilities. I am an ADA Compliance Officer and would understand your anger if that indeed happened that night.

The comment Lea made was taken out of context since the source of the sound seemed to have come from the exterior due to the acoustics of the theater. Given it was Halloween, it is understandable that it may have been perceived as a prank made by someone from outside the theater. You can be confident that Lea and the musicians, nor her family and friends would not do such a thing to anybody, and we will make sure this will not happen again in the future.

I hope that you and your sister will continue to enjoy her projects.

Michelle S said...

Dear Eileen, Meghan, Aunt Judy, and Family,

As one of Lea's avid worldwide supporters and also a Registered Nurse here in Hawaii, I understand your shock, hurt, and disappointment from this isolated event. In time once your anger subsides, please open your mind and hearts for forgiveness as the comments made by Lea was never intended to belittle our handicapped brothers and sisters. Please take care and God bless.

With warmest Aloha,
Michelle

Jeanne Villamil said...

hi lildove!
no offense taken. but to me, a simple sorry and an apology is the same thing. like i said, no body knew what was going on at that time. just want to clarify that i'm not demanding any apology from them, lea said sorry, why not say sorry too, after all, it's the reason of this whole big issue. now it's fixed, i hope everybody learned from it, i know i did! peace out and you take care lildove.

Li'l Dove Feather said...

Same to you :>

Li'l Dove Feather said...

Agree, wholeheartedly.

Denise Linsangan said...

whoah! this thing really escalated into something else. It sounds like she didn`t deliberately directed the comment towards that person. It`s all one big misunderstanding, THEY GOT OFFENDED, SHE APOLOGIZED! LET THAT BE THE END OF IT!!!

Guy Gustafson said...

Hello Lea,

I'd like to comment on the subject of this blog (didn't realize until a couple of days ago that this was the origin of the concert incident...and no, I'm not the same as "leafan"...but I'm very happy to see that seems to have quieted down). Anyways, I find it very sad how easily people disregard those wedding vows nowadays. I'm Catholic, and marriage is a sacrament..those vows were made before God. I'm single, and when it comes to married women, doors are closed in both my mind and heart...they are off-limits. For married people, those same doors should be closed to anyone but a spouse. I agree whole-heartedly with what you said, to quote, "In an ideal world, a marriage is greater than the sum of its parts. It's never about one or the other anymore, but of the two as a unit and a team. It's about reaching a state of grace... it's about unconditional love... it's about forgiveness and patience. It's the recognition that this is a union that a Higher Power has forged, that no one should disrespect and try to break." Similar to what you said, I found a greeting card that I bought for a friend's wedding, and loved it so much I bought another to keep. This is what it says:
"The Secret of a Beautiful Marriage"
If you can love each other
Through the sunshine and the storm,
And keep the flame of true devotion
Glowing bright and warm;
If you can give each other room
To grow and change and learn,
Yet still hold one another close
In mutual concern;
If you can be both lovers
And the very best of friends,
And face together, hand in hand,
The challenges life sends...
If you can offer patience, comfort,
and real understanding,
Encourage one another's efforts,
Yet be undemanding;
If you can show true love and faith
In everything you do,
Then married life will surely hold
Much joy for both of you.

Maybe I shouldn't be one to speak on marriage since I'm not married, but I do have one thing on my resume that I'm proud of - at my brother's wedding in 1984, I was his best man and had to come up with a toast. I thought at the time about what I would like to hear at my own wedding, and I'd like the sentiment here to apply to you and your husband (albeit some three years late):

Family and friends, please join me in a toast to the bride and groom. May they always find pride in each other's accomplishments, joy in each other's smile, and warmth in each other's touch. And may they find a little sparkle in their eyes that reflects each other's dreams. I'm sure everyone here wishes that those dreams come true, and that that little sparkle in their eyes grows to become a light to rival the dawn! Health and happiness together, forever. (This was edited after finding written down what I actually said)

Some people asked me what book I got that from. I told them the truth that I made it up, but I should've said, "You're looking at the book it came from...how do you like the covers?"

Did you notice I mentioned "...the dawn"? Your favorite group!

Going back to the couple...what would I do if I was the one committing the sin? To be honest, I can't imagine that if I was married, I'd ever let that happen. What if I was married and my spouse was the one that committed the sin? The first time it happened, I'd probably look past the deep hurt and forgive her, but find out why it happened and if I could do anything differently to prevent it from happening again. If it does happen a second time, then, sadly, I would feel that there would probably be no choice but divorce.

Robert Emile Zialcita said...

Hi Lea,

Wow! I sure missed a lot. To have read this blog on marriage is something really close to my heart. I am a man in love with my wife and I wouldn't change her for the world. Sure we mess up every now and then but the secret to a happy home is in unconditional love. What does that mean? Well, we often say that a relationship is a two-way street or give and take or 50-50; I say a marriage is really 100% a one way street... 100% giving with no expectations in return. If we live this way everyday then we will never run out of nice things to say to our spouses and we will never be sad since we have no expectations. Love never expects recompense. Love's motivation is to give and give it all. With this in mind we can never go wrong with our spouses.

Prayer too plays an important role in a marriage. Like you, leafanguy, and many others in this blog, I am a Catholic and I draw strength in the knowledge that, when I walked down that altar and made my vows before God and the people in attendance, God has given me that extra grace to be chaste and faithful to my wife. Yes you heard right... CHASTE! Meaning the fist instance I notice an attraction I avert my eyes, my heart, and my mind and think only of my wife who loves me as unconditionally as I love her. We need to speak more about this type of chastity in marriage since more and more marriages seem to be shaky.

Make no mistake, I respect all people and their decisions but if we are to enter into a lifelong relationship with someone then we must pray and think very hard about that decision. To commit to it and live it everyday is the challenge of a lifetime.

To close let me just say I agree that someone will always be more appealing than your spouse; and as you get older you will notice that a lot. Bear in mind that you don't marry the bestman... you marry the groom; and you don't marry the maid of honor... you marry the bride. I love my wife, my partner, my friend, my lover, my confidante; and I could not ask anything more.

God bless all marriages out there, especially those going through troubled times. You'll get over it... you'll survive.